Category Archives: photography

little blue dress

I finished flipping this thrifted dress a few weeks back, but then life got so crazy that I simply did not have the energy to get the photos I wanted of the finished project. Although I did succeed in finally getting out to the garden with my camera last week, life is still crazy, and I definitely haven’t been feeling like my best self lately. Last night I was laying in bed watching a show and I just thought: oh my god, I am not who I want to be at all right now. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. At the end of most of the recent days I’ve felt like I’ve done nothing but wait for bedtime, just to simply have to start over again the next day. The audacity! It’s exhausting and a little lonely.

I kinda feel like getting a haircut, overhauling my wardrobe, downloading all the dating apps again, and changing my entire personality, but I just don’t know if any of those things are the right thing to do when I’m in the midst of feeling so unsettled (we’ll see, maybe I’ll just do all of the above).

Anyways, right now I’m gonna sit back and give this little blue dress her much-deserved moment 💙 I think this might’ve been the sundress Caamp was talking about when he sang:

I found out yesterday / that I’m in love / and I don’t know what else to say / but thank you, Lord / for that sundress on that Saturday / walkin barefoot down the beach

the garden is doing splendidly, by the way

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goldenrod

Would it be considered a major character flaw that I often end up feeling like shit when I hang out with people my age, but hanging out with my 14-year-old cousin was the highlight of last week??

I remember when she was born, and I remember rocking her to sleep on hot summer days, and running through the sprinkler with her in big t-shirts. She was the tiny baby cousin that we all took care of.

But now all the sudden she’s a smart, funny, kind, real person, and instead of me having to entertain her, she’s at the age where we can just be friends. And we get to talk about life, and books and shows, and binge movies in Taylor’s apartment, and share memes, and bond over how much we cry because growing up can be lonely as fuck.

click on the photos to enlarge them

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fever dream

The past two months have honestly felt like a fever dream.

First, the unexpected reconnection happened and was so weird and fleeting that I sometimes feel like I made the whole thing up (maybe I am delusional). Then, just as I had begun to get my shit back together, my family and I are now faced with the grand adventure of moving out of the house that I’ve lived in my whole life. The house, and land, that we created to be a haven for ourselves (just as we started to enjoy our meadow too!).

And it’s not because we wanted to move. It’s not because we were looking for the adventure, or because we always imagined a different life for ourselves. It’s not because we don’t love the land, or love the house, or love the area that we’ve called home for 24 years.

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cocaine, dopamine, and other drugs

Yesterday I found myself on a park bench watching the ducks and geese and chimney swifts while the sun set in the hazy sky. I was just sittin’ and thinkin’ about how crazy it is that life is just a series of getting addicted to one thing after another, and then inevitably withdrawing from each one.

Just hear me out.

Sure there are the obvious (and often harmful) addictions, but discovering a new song that you play on repeat? Creating a good habit that makes you feel good? Creating a bad habit that makes you feel good? Making fun purchases? Talking to someone you like or love? Hanging out with friends? Good foods? Good shows?? Good books???

They all give you that hit of dopamine or serotonin or oxytocin (or all of the above) that we all ~~want~~ need so badly.

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the color yellow

When I was 10 or 11 years old I bought a beautiful tie-dyed sundress from a little hippie shop down the road.

I don’t remember what I spent on it, but I do remember that it was quite a bit for that time in my life — probably my whole allowance. But I loved that dress. It was bright and cheerful, soft and flowy, and the yellows in it were like sunshine.

I also vividly remember the man who sold it told me that I was lucky, because a lot of people can’t wear the color yellow.

click on the photos to enlarge them

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the ocean

Before 2021 the ocean seemed very far away to me.

Although it’s only just over an hour’s drive from home, my family and I rarely made our way down to it. The days and nights spent by the crashing waves of Charlestown beach were mostly during our one week of summer camping every year. We would spend all day in our hot campsite at Burlingame, just counting down the minutes until it was time to gather our towels and put on our swimsuits.

It was a salty, sandy, windswept occasion, and oh, how we’d soak up those evenings. Driving back to the campground in our damp suits, and rinsing off in the steaming-hot, coin-fed shower stall before we went to sit around a campfire…it’s a warm fuzzy memory that will forever be sitting comfortably in the back of my mind.

2004, click on the photos to enlarge them

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social media + me

A lot of people ask me how I have the willpower to leave social media, but I often don’t know what to tell them…because once I hit the point of wanting to leave, it’s usually not very hard for me to do so. I mean, sure, there are some days where I miss the bliss of easily wasting time by scrolling into the deep dark heart of Instagram, but more noticeable is the immediate change that happens to me as soon as I get off. Usually within 24 hours I’m happier, calmer, more inspired, more motivated, and more creative.

Let’s face it, we’ve probably all wanted to walk away from social media at one point or another, even if it was just for a day, a week, a month…just to get some space, some freedom, or to experience life for life, instead of experiencing life for the ‘gram. That constant pressure of getting the perfect picture to show the world (or, uh, your ex) that you’re having an amazing time!?

It gets heavy.

click on the photos to enlarge them

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🍭🍬🧁

The only reasons that this photo series exists are:

1. I wanted more practice editing photos

2. I was feeling way too good about myself the other day and simply had to document it

click on the photos to enlarge them

Although those are the only two reasons, I think they’re pretty good reasons.

A lot of times when it comes to photo editing I feel a bit of imposter syndrome try to edge in; after all, I’m definitely no professional. But I’m trying to work through that and just continue to figure out what I’m doing as I go. And since my stomach issues (which I touched on briefly in this post) have been getting me down a bit lately, every day that I feel amazing is a day to celebrate. It’s slow and steady progress over here.

My mental health has been kept aloft by a short list of songs that I’ve been listening to on repeat, and it’s pretty successfully brainwashed me into thinking that I am the absolute shit.

Curious? You shouldn’t be.

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buttercups

I don’t know how y’all are doing, but so far June has had me unexpectedly emotionally and physically overwhelmed. AHHH. There have been a few tears, but that’s just how I process things.

So what better time to share some photos from a few weeks ago when I was feeling 100x better and honestly very much like that bitch™

I took these photos last month, before the poor wildfire air quality made everything hazy, gloomy, and all-around depressing.

Now, if I had Photoshop (and also knew had to use it) I’d be unstoppable. But right now I’m just going through long and unprofessional processes to simply make a vision come to life.

Think: multiple layers of photos and tediously erased lines.

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white picket fence

Does this post contain an obscene amount of photos? Absolutely.

If you’ve been following my blog long enough, then at this point one may be beginning to think: is she completely obsessed with herself?? Does she really think we want to look at 30 individual photos of her silly face??

And, I mean…yeah, kinda. But that’s beside the point.