A lot of people ask me how I have the willpower to leave social media, but I often don’t know what to tell them…because once I hit the point of wanting to leave, it’s usually not very hard for me to do so. I mean, sure, there are some days where I miss the bliss of easily wasting time by scrolling into the deep dark heart of Instagram, but more noticeable is the immediate change that happens to me as soon as I get off. Usually within 24 hours I’m happier, calmer, more inspired, more motivated, and more creative.

Let’s face it, we’ve probably all wanted to walk away from social media at one point or another, even if it was just for a day, a week, a month…just to get some space, some freedom, or to experience life for life, instead of experiencing life for the ‘gram. That constant pressure of getting the perfect picture to show the world (or, uh, your ex) that you’re having an amazing time!?

It gets heavy.

click on the photos to enlarge them

But very few people can actually seem to embrace life without social media. I don’t know about you, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had someone in my feed dramatically announce that they’re taking a break from it, only to return 24 hours later….is 24 hours considered a break?? That’s not even enough time to begin the detox!

Maybe once people get off they realize that they’re just left with their own thoughts, or maybe there’s a world-wide fear of missing out (I hear ya, trust me), but whatever it is, the whole media world knows exactly how to keep us all hooked (I mean, we don’t even have to mention the fact that Instagram seems to be hiding the “temporarily deactivate” button from me — I’m so mad).

Over the years I’ve taken quite a few breaks from the apps; each break has lasted from a couple months to a year or two, and each time I do it, I usually swap numbers (or addresses for good ol’ snail mail!) with a few good online friends, and then dip without announcing it at all. I like to leave a little mystery. And anyways, I think it’s healthy to keep some people in the dark ✌🏼

I deactivated my Facebook and Twitter accounts years ago, and never looked back, so the only social media platform I kept going back to was Instagram. And I still believe that it’s the most positive and creative of all the apps I’ve been a part of…but that’s honestly not saying too much. And I’ve still experienced an extremely large level of toxicity on there, even if some of it was just coming from myself! How many times do you tell yourself that your timeline isn’t reality vs. how many times do you believe it?

I’m in love with this thrift-shopped fit, although I’m still deciding whether I want to alter the length of the lace robe or not…I don’t want to ruin the details

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As a 25 year old who has spent most of her life chronically single, and yet always pining for real love, my Instagram feed was a slow spiral of depression for me. Loneliness became my whole personality, and instead of working on myself, by myself, and enjoying where I currently am in life (I’m incredibly fortunate to still live with my family, who are my literal best friends), I felt like I spent every hour of every day wondering why it was never me. It’s like growing up and moving forward was happening to the rest of the world, and the universe had just left me behind!

I watched a friend break up with her boyfriend of 10 years, find a new love, have a baby, and move away, all while I felt like I was stuck in the same place. No matter how hard I tried to move forward, it felt like everything fell through and left me right where I was before: alone, and, if I’m being honest, more than a little bit desperate.

I was a mess.

And though the negative feelings in me were continually growing, I never wanted to share any of it with the world, because people either gave me sad sympathy (a kind gesture, but…ew), or hit me with the “you’re so young” line. Honestly, when has “you’re so young” ever helped anyone? Just because someone is young doesn’t mean that their feelings are invalid, or that their wants and needs are trivial. So instead of openly sharing my thoughts and feelings like I used to, I started closing myself off from everyone. Everything I said and shared was only surface-level, because why did they deserve to know what was going in my life anyway??

And with the mental depression, came a physical lack of motivation. Anyone who knows me would describe me as a creative person, but I simply wasn’t anymore. Everything felt like a chore, and I wasn’t sure what I even actually enjoyed doing! Did I really have any hobbies at all??

The point of my Instagram posts became to prove that I was doing well and living my best life, and to prove to the people that did me wrong that I was better off without them.

But, like any addiction, eventually I stopped getting the high from putting up a post, and getting all of the likes, and comments, and replies to my stories. Eventually it felt like nothing more than a habit. A pretty depressing habit.

And so in January of 2023 I deactivated my Instagram once again, to simply start the new year fresh.

But something was different this time around. Because I actually started working through my own emotional baggage.

And, in time, I started to be able to focus more clearly on all the things that I do have (which is a lot), instead of constantly just seeing what I lack. Over the last six months I’ve grown more and more content with where I am now. I’ve brought back old hobbies, discovered new ones, and I’ve been actively cultivating faith that everything is working out perfectly, which is a belief that I’ve been struggling with for quite a while. And at the end of all that, I realized that for the first time in a long time, I’ve been able to be truly happy for others, instead of simply putting on a pretty face and hiding a seed of bitterness and jealousy inside.

The biggest change of all though, may have been that instead of thinking in terms of “when I go back to Instagram,” all the sudden I started thinking in terms of “what if I don’t go back to Instagram…?”

I must admit, it was a pretty freeing thought, but in order to be able to sustain it, I knew that I’d need somewhere else to still be able to express myself.

Cue Mom starting a hobby blog of her own in February.

I mean, the thing is, we’re not exactly strangers to blogging in this house, as some of you may know. Back in 2010 I had a blog where I met some friends that I still know to this day! And just a couple years ago my whole family tried out having a joint blog (which I talked about briefly in this post). We’re just a family who likes to write. Yes, my mom is proud.

But another thing is that when one person is really excited about something here, often times (not all the time, but often) other people catch the excitement as well. It’s just contagious! And so all the sudden the shiny idea of having little hobby blogs of our own sounded pretty darn fun to me and Riley Mae.

And so the three of us spent multiple afternoons sitting down together and setting up sites and purchasing domains that reflected us. While my blog is a mishmash of creativity, photography, thrift-shop finds, and random DIY projects, Riley Mae’s focuses on her love of birds, and sharing the photos and knowledge she’s acquired of them. And Mom’s is a space where, as a certified aromatherapist and evolutionary astrologer, she can share not only her knowledge on her specialized subjects, but she can throw in some vegan recipes as well! Because the joy of having your own site? You can do whatever the hell you want.

So when I set out to start this silly little blog, I wanted to make sure that I didn’t end up turning it into another form of toxic social media, which is one of the reasons I don’t allow comments on it (at least for now). I want to make sure that I keep it a place that I post on because I want to, and because I love to, not to prove a point or to maintain an aloof vibe of emotionlessness (seriously, I’m over that).

And I can’t say that I’ll never find a use for social media again, because I can honestly never predict where life will take me, but I also can’t deny how much my life has improved while being away from it.

I’m grateful to all my friend’s who’ve supported me in all my creative endeavors, and who continue to support me (and somehow still love me) throughout all of my insanity. Here’s to hoping that this blog can be a sustainable way for me to continue to express myself, share my work, and maybe even inspire others…ya know, once in a while ✌🏼

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