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The only reasons that this photo series exists are:

1. I wanted more practice editing photos

2. I was feeling way too good about myself the other day and simply had to document it

click on the photos to enlarge them

Although those are the only two reasons, I think they’re pretty good reasons.

A lot of times when it comes to photo editing I feel a bit of imposter syndrome try to edge in; after all, I’m definitely no professional. But I’m trying to work through that and just continue to figure out what I’m doing as I go. And since my stomach issues (which I touched on briefly in this post) have been getting me down a bit lately, every day that I feel amazing is a day to celebrate. It’s slow and steady progress over here.

My mental health has been kept aloft by a short list of songs that I’ve been listening to on repeat, and it’s pretty successfully brainwashed me into thinking that I am the absolute shit.

Curious? You shouldn’t be.

earrings from Relic828 on Etsy

But here are the drive-with-the-windows-down, turn-the-volume-up, sing-at-the-top-of-your-lungs, dance-in-the-kitchen songs that I’ve had on a loop:

Two Taylor Swift songs, I know, and I’m not even a #swiftie. But come on, she’s one of the best lyricists I know.

I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you? Puuhleeez, she might as well have punched me in the stomach.

Last month my sister, cousin and aunt went to one of Taylor’s sold-out concerts at Gillette Stadium, and I had the opportunity to go with them. While millions of people were having anxiety attacks and falling into depressions about not being able to get tickets, I had the opportunity to go. And I chose not to.

To all the diehard fans out there, my decision probably seems crazy. But, I mean, being in a stadium full of 60,000 high-strung people seems a bit crazy to me.

romper from ThredUP

Trust me, I get the hype. Singing a song that you feel deep in your soul with thousands of other people who feel the same way? Yeah, it must be pretty cool. I mean, what a vibe. And sometimes I want to believe that I’m different than I am, I really do. Often I find myself wondering, is this just leftover anxiety from my young teen years when I lived with a panic disorder? Should I push through my discomfort and do this thing anyway??

But the fact is: it’s just simply not my scene. I don’t think it’s part of my character to enjoy such intense energy-filled events (I know at least a large portion of the introverted population feels me here).

Honestly I know that I’d be too overstimulated and claustrophobic to enjoy the concert at all, and maybe there’s something to be said for knowing yourself and taking care of yourself like that.

So I’m glad that I made the call to pass on this history-making tour, especially since even my extroverted, concert-loving older sister went home (at 3:30am, mind you) feeling like she was hungover, energetically drained, and with a massive headache — vowing to steer clear of stadium shows in the future.

So yeah, attending crazy sold-out concerts may not really be something that I like to do, but you know what I do like to do?

Listen to songs that hype me up at very high volume in the kitchen, or in my car, or while I’m sewing one of my fun outfits, and allowing them to make me feel like I’m the absolute shit.

🍭